December 14th, Star of Kings, Camp as Christmas Show

December 14th, Star of Kings, Camp as Christmas Show
Last night was G&B’s Camp as Christmas Show at The Star of Kings and it certainly lived up to its title. First up was the irrepressibly Northern Natalie Durkin, a gal who doesn’t own a coat and whose favourite tipple is gravy. It was then over to Oli Riordan, who loved having divorced parents as a kid because it meant double the gifts at Christmas. We then had Sassy Clyde, who once and for all put the scissoring myth to bed. It was then over to Dane Buckley, who says he’s half Irish and half Indian and whose nan says the gay thing is from the Irish side. It was then over to Will Owen, the stud muffin that is known as Willowen before our favourite Christmas elf, Renata Pereira, explained in her house they’re as interested in Christmas as they are the stock market…and they don’t give a crap about the stock market. Lee Campbell then gave us some doggy art, poetry and the right outfit for any occasion. Hot on Lee’s heels was Gareth Edward and some great tips on how to organised the best Christmas sex party. It was then over to Rhys Thorne who was recently offered some MDMA and was crushed to discover it wasn’t Madonna’s latest album. Closing the first half was CJ Hopkins, aka Chem Kardashian. CJ, also known as the Scrappy Doo of anal sex, is also a dab hand with an artificial limb.
After the break and a rather apt card trick considering the occasion, we had David Ferguson and his take on a room full of maggots, lenders and beers. Sue the Carer (aka Liam Harney) then gave us some Christmas cheer from the residents of the care home she works at (she just locked then in for the night so she could come to the gig). Rielle Madrid was after sue with fast fashion shopping and several other things I didn’t quite understand. After Rielle was Philip Ascott who reckons you should get to know your new home by getting naked…just wait till the removal men have gone. Lily Webb was next with the ultimate tale of romance, having lost her virginity to her wife and a classic Doctor Who episode. Bex Bond was after Lily with an availability ad for the next phase of her sexual life. Marco Chiu the robbed us of every being able to watch Toy Story again without hearing those lyrics differently before Samia Hussen confessed to the sin of having once worked on Loose Women. Closing the show was the amazing Dee Allum-Gruselle. Turns out Dee loathes the Go Compare man. Largely, however, because she used to find him attractive. The final thing Dee left us with is the news that there’s a point during transition where your nipples overnight become illegal.
So that was our camp as Christmas show. Next week is G&B’s New Act Competition with guest headliner Brandon Burke.