Monday, August 2nd, G&B Online

Monday, August 2nd, G&B Online

So last night was our monthly G&B Online show and our MC for the evening was a G&B favourite, the wonderful Gary Shaw. Gary got things off to a great start before bringing to the G&B cyber stage the first act of the evening, the utterly hilarious Rebekka Turner who gave us a little rendition of Polly Pocket Penis, a catchy little ditty, but not one destined for iTunes, more the pity. It was then over to Kyle Davies who took us on a guided tour of all things Port Talbot, including its famous faces and graffiti. Kyle also claims to be a vegan, but it took him nearly five minutes to tell everyone, so we’re not sure he’s that committed. After Kyle, we had Craig Conway an old school cabbie who longs for the good old days when the East End was all jellied eels and friendly stabbings. Hot on Craig’s heels was Nobby Kobayashi and everything from doll birth to your inner anime and Scottish up-skirting. Closing the first half was what had arguably become the G&B lockdown sensation that is Kevin-the-Nerd (aka Roger Clarke) and his animated tales of love and romance at the zoo and beyond. This has proven so popular a set over the past year that G&B is currently looking into finding a way to bring it all to the live stage for you. You’re gonna love it!

After the break, Gary got things going again and brought your first act to our cyber stage, the brilliant Amber Phillips. It wasn’t till chatting after the gig that a few of us confessed to just how much Amber’s sets have infiltrated our daily lives. One set, in particular, has this impact, repeating again and again in our heads: the mucky pub. You know the pubs, the mucky pubs, the mucky pubs. You know, the mucky pubs. Do it in an Essex Derren Brown voice and you’ll get there. After Amber was Eddie Dibs and the benefits of friends with benefits. In particular, the self-partnered benefits for those who like sex on tap and can’t be doing with disagreements in IKEA. It was then over to Mahesh Khilnani and the Rocky theme tune in its original Italian and why mindfulness isn’t good for driving…especially without a licence! The evening’s penultimate act was CJ Hopkins, who left us pondering one of life’s true philosophical mysteries: just what type of quiche do you take to an orgy? Closing the show, all the way from Glasgow, we had Jimi Longmuir. Jimi turned a popular piece of advice on its head, that of ‘just be yourself’. Maybe if someone hadn’t told that to Jeffrey Dahmer, things may have turned out very differently.

So that was August’s G&B Online show and it was a load of fun. The next G&B Online show will be Monday, September 6th. Hopefully, see you then.