Monday, Star of Kings, April 25th

Monday, Star of Kings, April 25th
Monday night at The Star of Kings was our LGBT+ nights and I think it was one of my absolute favourites. First to the mic and kicking things off in true style was the wonderful Lily Webb who has recently deciding to identify as non-binary, because finding new and interesting ways to piss off your parents is a full time job. Next up and keeping things ship shape and spotless was the fabulous Sue-the-Cleaner (aka Liam Harney). Sue has found the cost of living rise tough, so to save money on heating, she has an occasional bath with the toaster. The week in hospital saves a fortune in utility bills and food. After Sue was Sam Roulston, aka the BFG. Sam left us all with a great piece of advice: never question a hot man knocking on your yurt flaps. Ren Pereira was next with some advice for her partner: he’d better die first cos if not she’ll haunt his ass to the point he’ll never manage another erection. G&B’s favourite floral fairy, Jack Davies, was next with the ultimate in the heat of the moment, passion killer line for the ladies in your life. It was then over to Tine Petersen, possibly the best ever example of why drugs are bad and you really should just say Noooooooo! Verity Sharpe then posed the question, when is a prayer mat not a prayer mat? When it’s on a day trip to the beach. It was then over to Rhys Thorne whose dad wanted him to join the army so he could serve Queen and Country. Ryhs took that as serving hot queens from any country. You go, girl! Closing the first half was the brilliant Will Owen. Or Willowen, if you’re fluent in gallic. Will has long since come to terms with his youthful fear that people would think he was gay and now is utterly terrified people might mistake him as straight. You don’t need to worry, hon.
After the break we discovered even straight men can be size queens before the hilarious Cecily Schmidt explained just why it’s always important to take your litter with you. Nicky Vere-Compton then told us she was when normal came to die and baritones came to roar with laughter. It was then over to the queen of cheese and wine Fridays, Jack Short, who has done his bit for Ukraine by DMing the Kremlin telling them to be kinder. It was then the turn of Alison Zrada, the first of two new faces to G&B. Having studied classics at uni, Alison has discovered herself to be the main target demographic of Boris’ banter and as such has begun to question many of her life’s choices. Our second new face was Craig Drewingham, aka Claire. Craig explained just why the middle child is always the best and is rarely to never the evil one who becomes a psycho. It was then the turn of Charlotte Dougan, who has worked out a genius way to get one up on Ryan Air. The night’s penultimate act was Paul Moore. Paul had some great tips on how to find your nearest national trust property: just follow the trail of slow driving pensioners around the M25. Closing the show was Roland Saunders who gave us a couple of songs, including the Eurovision vision and an ample crotch full of boa dust to fill the air with Eurovision joy.
So that was our LGBT+ night and what an absolute cracker of a show it was. Next Monday is G&B Comedy’s New Act Competition where the acts compete for the trophy, the cash and the paid spot on next month’s competition. Returning after his win in April’s competition we have Gary Walsh.