Tuesday, November 23rd, G&B’s New Act Competition

Tuesday, November 23rd, G&B’s New Act Competition
Last night saw the return of G&B’s New Act Competition. Now it took us years to do a competition night because by and large I don’t like the atmosphere they engender as they feel contrary to that which we go out of our way to encourage at G&B. When an audience takes part in the judging process, the comedy often doesn’t get appreciated for what it is as it is being judged set by set. Really? said the G&B crowd. Hold our drinks. Well, at the end of the evening the acts gave a round of applause to the audience, because they had been awesome and deserved it.
So to the competition. First up was Frankie M with tempus fugit, the corn pads of growth and the wig of indulgence. Next was Richard Cobb and tips on social influencer social climbing one celebrity pug at a time. It was then over to Phil Henderson who’s sporting a moustache to make him look more like Superman…if Superman had given up his membership of The Justice league to join The Village People. Next was Ben Henley, who struggles to satisfy the women in his life. Maya Kolaska was after Ben with some interesting stats for the long suffering tall people out there. It was then over to Sam Trudgill who reckons his love life is a bit like the plot to Toy Story 3: an old woody desperate to be played with. Hot on Sam’s heels was Natalie Durkin, the true northerner who doesn’t own a coat and whose favourite tipple is gravy. Next was Nick Kirk and the uphill battle he has with writing comedy when you have so little disfunction to draw upon, not so much as a divorced parent or broken relationship. Lewis Badham was the final act of the first half. Lewis has a mechanical heart whose ticking makes him an awkward and somewhat suspicious passenger to sit next to on a plane.
After the break we got off to a flying start with Caroline Madds who explained, once and for all, why Van Gogh really cut off his ear. He hated Coldplay, too. Dora Flowers was after Caroline with some great tips on how to keep your search history safer looking: just add ‘ethical’ to your Porn Hub searches. Ros Hale was next with how to unload the dishwasher one magnetised crotch at a time. It was then over to Anky Damz and how to completely mess up a first date with some enthusiastic gangsta rap. Keeping with the dating theme, CJ Hopkins took us on a journey of a boy who wanted to become a real man on the mean streets of Soho before Charlie Evans confessed to the voiceover job that in retrospect he might not have wanted to give his all to. It was then over to Ahad Haider and how he is ending racism by shagging one twink at a time. Closing the competition was Shuang Teng, a lady who suffers from the opposite of resting bitch face: resting happy face. On the surface not a big problem, unless you’re at a funeral. The brilliant Declan Kennedy then entertained the crowd by encouraging some enthusiastic heckle frenzy while we counted up the votes.
And the winner of our first New Act Competition in nearly two years was the wonderful Caroline Madds, who got the trophy, the cash and the lifetime’s BYOB credit. A deserving win for a simply brilliant set. Our next New Act Competition is on December 21st and the first of 2022 is on January 25th.