Wednesday, August 11th, Arch One

Wednesday, August 11th, Arch One

As we slowly get back to normal, increasing our weekly gigs, last night was our second show this week. By end of September we should be up to four shows a week. Opening the show at Arch1 last night was Koutsis, a man who has been dishing out £20’s to random women in the street. After Manny we had Stephen Portlock and his loyal, and very well behaved, dog and the fantasy arch of Wonder Woman to Miss Piggy. Speaking of dogs, our next act, Jack Wood, manged to solve some accommodation issues during lockdown when he landed himself a neat flatshare and a great doggy bed complete with his own chew toys. Paul Little was next, aka the Silver Fox, a name he got from his neighbours after they caught him going through their bins…plus the noisy sex he has in their garden. After Paul we had Alex Mandel-Dalal, a lady who during lockdown went on a journey of self-discovery, but is now wondering if it’s possible to know too much about yourself. Next was Sam Adamson, the only ginger in his family so very much the Prince Harry of his family tree. After Sam we were humbled by Sue the Carer (Liam ) who had taken time out of her busy schedule to come and talk about her day as a support worker. If you have an elderly parent who needs round the clock care, and has a property you would prefer to inherit sooner rather than later, Sue is the carer for you. Closing the first half was the fabulous Vic Melody. A little known fact about Vic, she’s the same age as Matt Hancock and they both come from Chester, a city the Romans rather prophetically walled in. I think we may now at last know why. In her spare time Vic has many hobbies, one such hobby is turning the swans of Limehouse Basin canary yellow. You really don’t want to know how.

After the break and one lucky audience member winning a mug…but losing £60. It was then over to Dicky Wright and how Tunbridge Wells keeps above the rest; its Greggs has a sommelier. It was then over to Rosemary Gomes, a psychologist looking to work with stand-up comics. She may end up never have a day off again in her life! It was then onwards and upwards with our next act, Jack Gerry, and by upwards, I mean by several feet. Ginger, blued eyed and over seven foot, Jack is one of only 14 people like him in the world. And before you ask, no, he doesn’t play basketball! Will Owen was next with an interesting observation: there is a stark difference between the number of Phillipe’s you come across on Grindr compared to that in day-to-day life. The evening’s penultimate act was the brilliant Don Biswas. From Einstein’s comedy philosophy to the Human League’s lockdown single (I was a furloughed waitress in a cocktail bar) Don was his usual joy from start to finish. Closing the show was our headliner, the third hardest man in Uxbridge, Mad Ron. One of the most outstanding character acts on the circuit, Ron never fails to have a room in tears of laughter. From why the USA is a bit dated and the national disgrace of not investing in teaching proper youth crime to the problem with today’s soaps – they used to be proper bars you could clean faces and floors with – Ron put the world to rights and the room couldn’t get enough of him. Cracking stuff!

So that was last night. Thanks to everyone, acts and audience, for making it fun. Headlining next Wednesday at Arch1 we have Dick Denham and Ashish Suri. Hopefully see you then.