Wednesday, August 25th, Arch One

Wednesday, August 25th, Arch One

It was a fabulously buzzing night at Arch1 last night, great crowd and a cracking line-up. First up was Ren Pereira, a lady for whom 9/11 was a very dark period and a more than memorable homemade airline tampon. It was then over to Danny Walsh who reliably informed us that The Queen couldn’t possibly be a lizard and that it’s just not on to claim you’re the son of God while wearing a Primark tracksuit. After Danny was Liz Maslakova who is doing everything she can to disprove as many Russian stereotypes as possible. Hot on Liz’s heels was Nicu Tematoru, who came to the UK with great expectations of Great Britain, but now wonders just where the “Great” is. Robin Cousins was next with tips on just how to beat the Weightwatchers sliming photo ordeal before Jack Skipper confessed that he’s from Sutton, but when trying to impress people he says he’s from Croydon. It was then over to Ahad Haider, who wonders if he might not actually be LGBT so much as just a really, really good feminist. After Ahad was Dean Threadgold, who grew a beard during lockdown which ended up looking less action hero and more divorced dad. Closing the first half was Henry Ginsberg, a man who has set himself the goal of writing the world’s greatest How To sex guide. He also left us wondering just why, despite his constant drinking, we never see James Bond bladdered.

After the break we got some rock legend guitar moves from Slough’s #1 Ozzy Osbourne impressionist, Cecilia Delatori. It was then over to Camden nick’s most recent headline act, Gary Walsh, before Mike Strogi told us that it’s statistically easier to get hit by the same bus seven days in a row than it is winning the lottery. Luke Hayes then offered some stellar advice on how to satisfy the ladies before Gemma Barry explained that until he learns where ladies’ parts actually are, his surefire satisfaction might be best not to come with a money-back guarantee. The fabulously bizarre Ryan Ward was next, loafing about with some hard-core philosophy for the post-covid psyche. Henry James was the evening’s penultimate act and left us all with no doubts as to why there are no fat cheetahs in the jungle. Closing the show was the brilliant Hassan Dervish, the king of multimedia, spoken word performance poetry. From Barry the Badger to bath bombs and making sure things are never too hot, Hassan had the place alive with riotous laughter.

So that was last night, and it was a cracker of an evening. Thanks to everyone, acts and audience, for making it such a fun night.