Wednesday, July 21st, Arch One

Wednesday, July 21st, Arch One

So last night was G&B Comedy’s first live, in-person gig of 2021 and what a night it was. A fabulously packed audience got to see a line-up of acts dispel any covid blues as if they’d never had over a year’s hiatus from the stage. After a brief message from G&B’s government spokesperson, we got off to a cracking start and our first live act of 2021, Tiziano La Bella, the man whom you really want on your plane if heading to Ibiza…just not as your pilot! It was then over to Matthew Bradfield, who four years ago to the day threw a wedding ring into the Grand Canyon … Don’t worry, his wife wasn’t wearing it. CJ Hopkins was after Matthew and delivering a well-hung set with plenty of gags and lots of satisfied faces. G&B fave Emily McQuade was hot on CJ’s heels with some sage advice on what makes a hat and why Dairy lee isn’t cruelty-free. It was then over to Nick Kirk and the Bath Buddy, the product for those who don’t care about their bath’s flavour, but like a chat, while scrubbing your bits. Talking of seeing to your bits, next was Rod Richardson and a tale of rectal examinations and the jaw-dropping story of the heterosexual hairdresser. It was then the turn of Dicky Wright and his proud lockdown accomplishment of a personal marathon best of 2 hours and 182 minutes. The man’s a fitness machine! Closing the first half was Joe Bingham, whose hayfever had added a butch, gravely tone to his Brummy accent, but still not making it sexy. Joe explained to us just why comparing Venice to Birmingham is a false equivalency: no one tries a romantic proposal on a Birmingham canal. Joe also explained one of history’s great mysteries, why Sweden has remained largely uninvaded.

After the break, we got off to a great start with David Ferguson and his ever-fascinating internal monologue. And who knew there was a book on why not to do stand-up wearing shorts! The fabulous Gemma Barry was next with enormous boobs smothering the dick. Get your heads out of the gutter. It was her tee-shirt. Her trousers were a wealth of double entendres, too! After Gemma, we had Sam Coade, a lad who still counts his age in half years and the guy whom your girlfriend will tell you not to worry about. It was then over to Mark Burkwood and some deep philosophy to consider: if an open mic comic tells a joke in the forest…is it still unfunny. After Mark, we had a new face to G&B Lee VG. From the disadvantages of living in a lighthouse to tips on how not to fall out of bed and a surprisingly niche aspect of a medical condition, Lee made a great first impression. The evening’s penultimate act was Jake Cornford. Jake, whose look is best described as an EDL member who’s a big fan of Ru Paul’s Drag Race, is very glad lockdown’s over so he can stop pretending he’s trying to better himself. Closing the show we had the sheer and utter joy that is the outrageous Pam Ford. Keeping with a headline brummy theme, it seems Pam started junior school in Brum before moving to Australia. Yeah, that accent is starting to make more sense now, isn’t it? It is always worth hanging on pam’s every word and advice and last night was no exception, especially for the bride to be, whom Pam advises to find the ‘biggest unit’ amongst your friends as bridesmaid and make her wear lime green down the aisle.

So that was our first night back. Thanks to everyone, acts and audience, for making it all so much fun. Next Wednesday sees the return of our Growing Old Disgracefully night and headliners Jo Fletcher-Cross and Declan Kennedy.