Wednesday, November 3rd, Arch 1

Wednesday, November 3rd, Arch 1

It was a packed night at Arch1 last night with some great new faces doing their first sets at G&B, which is always exciting. First to the stage was Dina Leander, who says to help with anxiety she’s tried meditation, or masturbation, she can never remember which. It was then over to Phil Wathern who says he doesn’t approve of fox hunting, but will happily see them all dead if it risks his kebab. Next was out first new face of the evening, Acadia Stanton. Acadia enjoys the judgemental rights of being a Londoner and has an excellent manifesto on bus etiquette. Mike Strogi then hit us with everything from Spiderman to Community militia and Transformers. It was then over to Barbara Fernandez and how a dual personality has benefits…if you fancy a threesome without complications. We then had Richard Murray and just what was wrong with the venue and its audience before Ogi Nikodijevic explained the big difference between the final letter and a manifesto. It was then over to Connor Yeates who provides an incredible service for his white friends, making them feel that little bit more woke. Closing the first half was the brilliant Alex Martini. Now despite not identifying directly as part of the LGBTQ community, Alex still lives under the motto: any hole’s a goal. He’s also worked out the relationship relativity formula. Without going into too much maths here, it works out at about 100 shags before terminal decay sets in.
After the break the comedy kicked off thanks to man’s man Gary Manhine and how to dye your hair in any tough combat situation. After Gary we had Benjamin Bryan, who loves his PG Tips stuffed toy and his flat’s helipad. It was then over to Kate Lois Elliott who has done some extensive research and can officially say being kicked in the willy really hurts. It was then the turn of Naif Mohamed who still isn’t sure how his name is pronounced. He just knows it isn’t pronounced ‘Nigel’! The fabulous Tina Kelly was hot on Naif’s heels. Tina says she’s not, as some might suspect, a mother, but does have a cat thanks to some very experimental fertility treatment. It was then over the glittery fabulousness that is Gemma Barry and the difference between generations: kids now look at potential partners through Tindr, she looked at hers through beer goggles. The evening’s penultimate act was Carl Hurst, a man we’ve not seen at the Arch in years. He’s since graduated and now loving his job…some might say a wee bit too much. Closing the show was the simply hilarious Kitty cassis (aka Aimee Cooper). From her eyebrow lamination business with Daniel Beddingfield to her early days working with Cilla, Kitty has been there and done it all and now finds herself as a vital part of her local community as founding, and only, member of her local Neighbourhood Watch.