Wednesday, September 1st, Arch One

Wednesday, September 1st, Arch One

It was a night packed with new comedy talent at Arch1 last night and the first act to get things going was the hilarious Rabiah Coon. Rabiah, in her search for Mr Right, has decided to extend the distance parameters on her dating apps to ‘anywhere’. It was then over to Shuang Teng who admitted to loving a good old fashioned rom-com on TV, the kind that stars the likes of Fred and Rosemary West or anything to do with a bit of matrimonial cannibalism. Next was Ramon Diaz, who says he’s suffering from infinity dick syndrome, which isn’t quite what it sounds. After Ramon was Farah Sharp who has some delicious recipes for Fairy Liquid. It was then over to Andrew Mullan and some rap psychosis and meta breakdowns before Ahmed Ibrahim explained how you know you’ve smoked too much weed: when Alex Jones starts to make valid points. Hot on Ibrahim’s heels was Lilian Belli, who comes all the way from Totnes, where extended eye contact with complete strangers isn’t creepy at all. It was then the turn of Dicky Wright who never makes a bed, washes dishes or puts out the rubbish, saving himself in case he has a flash inspiration on how to solve the Middle East crisis. Closing the first half was the brilliant Kate Lovelock, not Katie, Katherine or any other permutation…and don’t get her started on Kate Middleton! And if you catch her left side, remember to call it Kier.

After the break and slicing up some cucumber while avoiding chopping off an audience member’s arm we got going thanks to the fabulous Charlie Evans and his rather strange ambition to become the victim of a national media smear campaign. It was then over to Sapphire McIntosh and a disciplined family Christmas complete with gift wrapped hand wash. After Sapphire we had Alex Knollys and some classic post-wank philosophy and You-Tube panda clips. It was then over to Roger Clarke and the futility of life, the universe and everything and how drilling holes in elephants saved his sanity… You kinda had to be there. Next was Sallyann Fellowes, the lady with the distinguished bewildered moth walk. Closing the show was the dinky dynamite that is the wonderful Sarah Mills. Currently single, Sarah confesses that any prospective guys over five foot ten are little more than nostril hair and chins to her. And despite having begged, the NHS point blank refused to sate Sarah’s fantasy of being spit roasted by robots, regardless of how needed the scans might have been.

So that was last night and what a feast of new talent that was. Headlining at Arch1 next Wednesday we have Benny Shakes and Hatty Preston.