Wednesday, September 29th, Arch One

Wednesday, September 29th, Arch One

So last night at Arch1 we had an absolutely stellar night of comedy. Our audience left The Arch with jaws and sides sore from laughing. Kicking the show off we had the hilarious Daniel Vallender, a man who longs for the life of a fictional detective so he can one day be called a loose cannon by his boss…and have an excuse for hard drinking. It was then over to Charlie Evans and global climate change, and how we seem to be treating it a bit like Brexit and hoping for an extension from Mother Nature so we can get our shit together. After Charlie we had Jimmy Grimble, a man whose other half seems to think he has all the sex appeal of a dodgy kebab and a Jagerbomb hangover. It was then over to Simon Hall who exorcised his anger demons by offloading his deep loathing for all things snooker related. And talking of exorcisms, our next act, Jack Davies, was straight from the set of Ghostbusters V: The Walking Fashion Dead. After Jack we had Eddie Dibs, a man who could enjoy being self-partnered if it weren’t for the amount of dick pics he keeps sending himself. Joshua Bethania was next with the struggles of trying to be as British as possible. He’s started with traditional British food, like fish and chips and chicken tika masala. Hot on Joshua’s heels was Anthony Jeannot and why not all heroes wear capes…but post COVD weight gains might mean more may have to. Closing the first half was the truly reprehensible and utterly fabulous Paul Merryck. From the Essex COVID variant – where you lose ALL sense of taste – to his search for love and enjoyment of a lady in uniform (his favourite is a Greggs tabard), Paul had the crowd in tears of laughter from start to finish.

After the break and a little bit of danger magic, we got off to a great start thanks to Seam Anderson, a man who openly admits he’s never felt the need to smoke weed because he needs little encouragement to eat more. And this from a man who has made himself a meat pie sandwich! After Seam was Gem Bennington-Poulter, the son of the man who can fit snuggly into a Samsonite and whose grandma was a bit of an enthusiastic circus fan. It was then over to Ahad Haider, a man who single-handedly fulfils the daily woke quota for everyone he meets. We then had Oskaras Šiuša, aka Sexy Jenny if chatting to him online, who has discovered attraction and allure is all about the mouth…and mostly him keeping his shut. Liz Maslakova was next with the sad news her cat died recently, but it’s ok because it was a bit of a bitch. The evening’s penultimate act was the Celtic stud muffin that is Donal Vaughan, a man whose recent move to Brighton disappointed him when he discovered it wasn’t all free lube and tripping over butt plugs in the streets. Closing the show was the fabulously irrepressible Declan Kennedy. Describing himself as like Pennywise the Clown if dressed by Alan Partridge or a Brexit Wolverine, Declan went on to tell us that he has been informed by several sperm donor clinics that they no longer accept donations from red heads, as there is no longer any call for them. Now that what you call being cancelled!

Well that was an absolute blast of a night. Thanks to everyone, acts and audience, for making that a riot of fun. Headlining next Wednesday at Arch1 we have Robin Cousins and Henry Ginsberg. Hopefully see you then.