Write-up by guest MC Barbara Fernandez
It was a banger of a night at the Royal George Charing Cross Road – starting with Franki Cookney Stone, who has been fighting off headhunters for the perimenopause club. Charlie Firth then declared besides his pregnant virgin wife, the Bethlehem nativity celebrations could have been vastly improved if there had been a chance to win a mug. Gee Watson gave us a new meaning to dry January with nighttime wakings – don’t ask him about freeflowing Feb – before Joe Vaughan shared his gratitude for firefighters, as he hasn’t been able to help anyone as a s’more unless they’re hungry. Dan Brookes gave us the secret to getting a bar job at minimum wage – insist you be underpaid – before Lou Wilkinson and his tough breakup. You can’t continue a relationship with a kebab shop when your fluids are flying everywhere. Susan Heather Kitcatt says no she doesn’t prefer a 2 or 4 finger bar, she’s all about chunky. Next up was Evan Henley. You can find Evan headlining at children’s parties with such bangers as reciting all noble gases…in Morse code. Martin Ashworth then gave the best slogan ever for an ad agency that went bankrupt – take effing risks – followed by Raj Kukadia (pictured). Raj knows exactly why the Romans came to Londinium: the generous UK universal credit. Closing the first half was funny man Nigel Wolfin. Nigel was thrilled to perform on the same bill as Gee Watson – his first time in ages being anywhere near a G spot. Nigel is embroiled in a difficult search for the right carer for his mum: it’s tough getting references from previous clients without a link to the afterlife.
Our second half began with Sonny Savage. Sonny wonders what exactly all these pharmacists have against farmers. Phil Green, who recently hit the 40s zone, is still cool – or as he says, riz – despite his quest for a comfy fleece. Steve Hawthorne has decided he may not promote Dodgy Dave’s weightloss shots – yes he’s lost 3 stone, but also half his manhood. Next up was Michael Campuzano. Michael pronounces his Spanish surname the English way, cause he’s a proper Brit, refusing to give foreign languages a go. We then had @karunsandal who has discovered a handy way to connect him with his long lost relatives: he calls a cab. Alex Thornbury then had all the Christians feeling smug since Adam and Eve were tempted not by Satan, but by their five-a-day and a good book. Liberty Mendez left us with quite the image – celeb Victoria’s meaty curtains – before Mark Rivlin gave us another image: explaining premature ejaculation to his wife…though it went right over her head. Mani Ahmed says he knows how to tell the Muslims from the gays – the meat they choose to consume – before our closing headliner Lucy Jenner, who decided to finish the night by handing her set over to people in the audience to supply the jokes.
So that was our night at the Royal George Charing Cross Road. Join us next Thursday February 5th with the simply brilliant Richard Wheatley and then closing the show we’ve the fabulously funny Phil Green.