Write-up by guest MC Barbara Fernandez
We had a slightly quieter but fun night at The Bell yesterday, beginning with Aarian Mehrabani, who says donating your swimmers is a tough job – who should you be thinking about? And should there be auditions? We couldn’t quite decide. Then Aidan McKeown had us all wishing we could go to an Irish funeral – apparently it’s the best opportunity to see all the family in one go – minus one – and have a good piss up at the same time. Susan Heather Kitcatt praised Katie Price for saving the dolphins – much better that she’s the one absorbing all the plastic in our oceans – before Paddy G shared the best part about being a tutor rather than a teacher…no one suspects you might be a pedo. Jake Lyons bragged that ladies are always happy to come across him and his rather…large…ego…followed by Freddie Cornwell (pictured). Freddie has a proud heritage provided by his English dad and Irish mum: living proof that when England invades Ireland, it never ends well. Our closing headliner for the first half was the wonderful Fred Bell. Fred’s friends says he’s just like a swan – calm on the surface, but for goodness sake keep him away from the children. Oh and as an ex Army participant, Fred can testify that it’s true: if you can fix a bike, you can fix the Middle East.
Our second half kicked off with Godfrey Mercado who was so happy to get a good night’s sleep, cause that meant he was the tallest he’s ever been. Daniel Skilbeck was next, though we didn’t recognise him at first, given his disguise of glasses-with-tache to hide that he’s from the north. Thanks to Tony Matthews we then had some funky dancing from His Holiness the Dalai Llama, before Jackie Sea (Jack Clerkin) gave the best reason ever to take Buzzfeed’s Are You Gay test – to make sure that THEY know the answer. Karun Sandal discovered that where he’s concerned, the hot singles in his area would prefer to be friends, before our closing headliner, the brilliant Arthur Mitchell, confessed to his utter embarrassment when a woman asked him what makes him tick. He could have sworn he wasn’t making a sound. At least he can whip out his wife’s favourite move in the bedroom: turning over and going to sleep.
So that was our night at The Bell – join us next Wednesday February 25th for the 2nd heat of our annual All Stars competition.