Write-up by guest MC Barbara Fernandez.
We had quite a night at The Bell – a lot of fun, where both acts and audience were left in no doubt as to my tough New York origins (and that’s only the half of me). First up was Tom Draper (pictured), who has gone for a career as a poet, despite his dream of being an investment banker – which he blames his parents for, as they wanted him to ensure a sound income for their retirement. Next was Aidan McKeown, whose Irish mum is never prouder of him than when he bombs, followed by Martin Ashworth and his success story of an ad agency whose motto ‘take effing risks’ ended aptly… in bankruptcy. Tony Carr explained how Track and Trace is a poor substitute for Grindr before @markghannon shared what he learned most from growing up in France: how to be a wanker. It was then over to Amber Phillips and her clever acknowledgment of the room – webuyanytory.com – before Susan Heather Kitcatt requested people stop asking her how many fingers she can take: she prefers chunky. Gee Watson gave us his ‘flex boomer with zero riz’ vibes that really hit home with our audience before our fabulous first half headliner, Rich Bunn, presented himself as a living version of a wedding cake: he’s very white with many tiers. At least he made some excellent life decisions, like joining the army instead of a cult. No bald-headed sports enthusiasts who all dress alike for him.
Our second half kicked off with Eoghan Collins. Eoghan is proud of both his parents – they nailed both their trials. One was for football and the other for murder. Next up was Janet Lynn, who told us her bakery tells quite good jokes – like that their cake serves six. Prakash Mistry then gave us quite the Indian takeaway – he’s not Mr Bean, he’s Mr Coffee Bean, thank you very much. Marc Meakin then explained he’s shed his previous identity after having lost 6 stone – he’s no longer a KFC meal for four. Royston Pritchard was next with a question – why do people insist second hand sex toys cause STIs? No one is buying that. Following Royston was Mossy (aka Dave Moss) whose prostate exam had a happy ending, though not quite the one he was expecting. We then had Anna Redbourn take us through two Petes – original and re-Pete – before Aarian Mehrabani shared his current existential crisis: what is the appropriate topic to be thinking of while donating sperm for your future child. Our closing headliner was the funny Charlie Firth. We were lucky that Charlie played Joseph as a child, as he was a bit lost but found his way to the gig thanks to some wise friends and a star in the East. Oh and he knows now how to win FIFA’s comedy prize: insult a Venezuelan comic and host the next competition at his place.
So that was our night at The Bell – on Tuesday 24th no show as it’s the Fortrean Society, but you can catch the show on Wednesday 25th for our second heat of our All Stars competition.