Write-up by guest MC Barbara Fernandez
What a warm and wonderful night we had yesterday at the Royal George! It started off with Cheryl Hurst, who bemoans the lack of a class system in her native Canada – how are you supposed to know who to rub elbows with? Next up was Declan Evans. Declan hails from Essex, land of magical (disappearing) dads and folk doing dodgy deals who actually have respectable day jobs you had no inkling of. We then had Mr Corporate, Phillip Cornwall, who took us through the hot and heavy work of the corporate solution factory, complete with thought showers, low hanging fruit, and a diagram I think we’ll all remember. Following Phil was Deniro B Stocks. Deniro says if you want to live in Biblical times, look no further than Australia. After Deniro was Ariella Eshed, who is losing lots of calories thanks to her 3 boys – now if only they were hers (the calories, not the offspring 
) Daniel Mahony then proudly presented himself as the product of a failed condom – these days he relies on a more foolproof method of birth control…that’s all in the attitude. Next up was Katie Edkins. Katie works for the NHS mental health sector, where all that lockdown applause surely did wonders for her bank account and her morale…if only she’d been able to hear it over the pleas from friends to put in some overtime. Kristian Allman-Varty then shared the ultimate challenge for a middle class Northerner who’s used to buying fruit and leaving it uneaten – pretending to be Muslim for his partner’s family. Closing the first half was the wonderfully wacky Pete Kinsella who, despite the strong smell of cattle, doesn’t do lethal martial arts…and, if you must cast him as Beast from Beauty and the Beast, please don’t try and provide a virgin maiden from your local village. These days, Pete’s more into oat milk, cornflour and recycling.
Our second half kicked off with Emily McQuade: when presented with the choice between swing dancing and worshipping Satan, the decision is a tough one – though easier than the cleanup after ghosts have fiddled with your sex toys. We then had Michal Jenicek, who was in admiration of the queuing abilities of UK citizens… till he got to McDonald’s. Turns out tall plastic aliens confound anyone. After Michal was Olya Wynn-Williams, who has found a new purpose for her natural deodorant: campfire, anyone? Sizzle guaranteed. It was then over to Ben Bridgeman who bemoans his posh background – given he shouldn’t be seen outside of programmes like Bridgerton, where’s a good revolution when you need one? Next up was Jonny Brace (pictured), whose ode to a failed politician had us all envious – it’s not everyone who pays millions of dollars to become a meme. Closing the show was the fabulously funny Phil Green. Phil says the story of Goldilocks is all rubbish – if anyone deserved a good telling off, it was Goldie. And the bear family, well, we all saw them in a new light – with food raids, inflatable canoes and family squabbles, the last thing they needed was a gate crasher.
So that was our show! Join us on May 9th with two amazing headliners – closing the first half we’ve the hilarious Matt Smith and then closing the show we’ve the fabulously funny John Pape.