Write-up by guest MC Barbara Fernandez
Last night was our Girlpower night at the Albany and it was femme fabulous! It all began with Your Wartime Agony Aunt Madge (Rebekka Turner, pictured), who dispensed excellent advice for any situation: from how to avoid the criminals that are Butlins magicians to friends who like to fist. Brilliant! We then had Cathy White who has the best advice for avoiding being strangled by a pirate: get on their good side. After Cathy was Rosalie Van Onzenoort. Rosalie gave us the ultimate strategy for both getting the job you want and not getting fired from the one you have: a finely honed corporate laugh. And hers is on point! CK Nath then shared a little-known secret about India. You may have taken a trip there to ‘find yourself’, but you won’t be able to find your navel much less anything else – much to the delight of India’s ‘keeping the colonists out’ strategists. Turns out all that chaos doesn’t just create itself! Next up was Pippa Brush Chappell, who bemoans the changes that age brings – namely, people’s expectations that she’ll vote Tory. Give her time, people, she’s not ready yet! Closing the first half was the fabulous Jennifer Zheng, who took us through the uses of bubble tea (luring unsuspecting comedians into dark places), how to fail out of your own race, and why Chinese cougars are always hungry. Wonderful stuff!
Our second half began with Venezuelan Graciela Martin, who hails from Caracas, where you wouldn’t be caught dead trying to rob someone without a firearm. Graciela has a few tricks to teach wannabe tough guys – she is having to now avoid the temptations of what could be a lucrative side hustle. Hannah Xu then shared a song about monkeys and being scared before Lianna Holston demonstrated for us just how much she resembles those famous paintings of women from days gone by who are lying in a pond and zoning out. Turns out the resemblance is iconic! Next up was Lauren Emina-Bougaard (Lauren E-b) who says that despite some people having tried it, no, you can’t come out as black. It was then over to Claire Cox, who has found the perfect conundrum for her eco-conscious friends: do you really reuse EVERYTHING from your fiancee’s previous wedding? After Claire was Gordie (Gordana Mićić), who has been called every name in the book: alpha female, cougar, a Tory… now if only she could take her pearls off! Closing the show was the hilarious Sally Firth (Siân Spry). Sally had the room in stitches with her tales of life with husband Roger: his relief breaks (which at least he does while she’s out), her bringing him cups of coffee in teacups, and wearing his mother’s clothes to spice things up a bit – there’s been no change, if you take the word of her local Big Issue seller at her local supermarket.
So that was our show! Join us next Tuesday at the Albany with the wonderful Nicky Vere-Compton and the simply hilarious Georgia Thorp!