Tonight at The Star of Kings we had one hell of a line up! First up was Marc Salmon who told us how he keeps in shape… running home from the pub. Now, Carling doesn’t do PT sessions but if it did… Next up was the fabulous Jeroen Bloemhoff, who got all geeky and told us of his love for DnD, that’s Dungeons and Dragons nor Do Not Disturb. After Jeroen was Martin Ashworth who used to clearly have a boy crush on the big JC, but now he’s outlived him, he’s not so smitten. Taking the stage after this revelation we had Charlie Firth who decided to break the white male comic stereotype and do a whole set on his willy. As in, a topic, not that he’s one hella lucky boy. Next up was Nathan Good who couldn’t tell us anything about what it’s like dating a psychic sex coach, so instead told us what its like dating a “Bus Driver”. Although both seem happy talking about their oysters. Then we had Frances Jane who loves facts that sound made up but are actually true! Like did you know that Iron Bru was invented for Winston Churchill! And that’s a Bru story! Hidehito Yanase is confused that no one believes he’s from Peckham because of his strong Japanese accent! Clearly haven’t lost the twang of your native tongue, which is surprising, he’s been here a whole 6 months! After Hidehito we had Tony Carr who has real issue with young men’s obsession with unsolicited mobile phone dick pics. The ones he sends are all posted. Next to tickle our giggle muscles was Quang Tran. Quang is Vietnamese and looks so young that when he gets lost in London people don’t give him directions, they help him find his parents. For our penultimate was our new G&B MC, Felix Parkin who apparently isn’t fond of his childhood pets. Because they always got better bedroom than him! With that in mind he never understood what was so bad about having a dog’s life! Looks pretty lush from where he was sleeping! To close up a fantastic first half we had the hilarious Donatas Staneikawho as a Russian, loves his family very much, which is why he chose to move to the UK permanently. Not sure we believe you Donatas… He also loves Putin, probably moved to the UK for similar reasons!
After the break we had the musical comedy of Jamie McDonald who gave us some hilarious songs and also told us about Kogatio, I would say more, but I don’t want to kink shame him! Next to the stage was SJ Wyatt who gave us some compelling reasons as to why most of the characters of Dr Who are actually non binary! Next up we had Ollie Taylor who thinks there might be trouble brewing in his current relationship, his girlfiend has left him and is now sleeping with his best mate… You’re right, I’m sure its just a blip Ollie… Steve Garry then told us how he likes to show off that he’s worked on numerous animated films… just don’t ask which films, because you’ve probably heard of none of them! After Steve we had Hemang who’s parents think it’s great their son has given up a good job to be a comedian, they 100% worked their guts off to come to this country and build a better life so that Heman could tell dick jokes! Next, we had Matthew Bentley, who helped us see just how scary the town square of LinkeIn is. All I know is I’m not moving there anytime soon! Then we had the lovely Declan Evans, who looks a lot like Rodney from OFAH. Just like Rodders, he didn’t do good in his Maths GCSE, although I reckon he’s triffic at Trigger-nometry. After Declan we had Anirudh Mittal, who declared there are no drinking problems in his native India, I mean they drink heavily, just it only seems to be a problem when they move here! Our penultimate act of the evening was our very own Callum Mackenzie, who just like Martin Luther King had a dream! Well not the same dream, I doubt Martin wanted to work for a local paper called the Ashdown Herald. Closing the show we had the fantastic Paul Little. (Pictured) Paul told us all about his life: kidnapping, being a mature student, living in a loft… How are you still single mate? Especially with THAT shirt… Woof Woof… that was the sound you made by your bins right?
It was a busy and fantastic night with plenty of giggles and cheers! Next Monday is G&B’s Dark Delights, our night dedicated to comedy’s darker side. Definitely not for the easily offended.