Write-up by guest MC Barbara Fernandez
It was a fun night at The Royal George, starting with Fred Bell who, according to a competition, is one to watch. Though that may have been the policemen outside. Max Devine took us through 7 courses of gravel eating before Andrew Steel waxed lyrical about his 3 different types of handwriting: perfect for writing ransom notes. Jackie Sea (Jack Clerkin) shared his top inspiration for wooing – the Saw films – followed by Stanley Brown, who says he hasn’t always been an alpha, but thanks to his local church, he was able to take a course. Matt Eley has discovered he’s a terrible driver – the main thing he learned from his traffic speeding remedial course – whereas Ricky Baker is all about the balanced diet…on a tightrope. Next up was Jenny Jope, who discovered Radio Times is so desperate for clients, they’re trying to lure them back from the dead. Our first half finished with Eoghan Collins, who wanted to be the first of the evening to wish the ex Prince Andrew a happy birthday – like Elon, he too loved spending the holidays with the kids.
Our second half opened with Nick Morey, who had quite the Valentines day – edibles, below the waist fun activities…and that was just him. Martin Ashworth warned of the dangers of exploding hair shafts before Roger Clarke reassured us that when it comes to jokes about washing machines, he’s got loads. Steve Hawthorne then bemoaned one of the most difficult moments of his life: needing the loo but being foiled by the zip of his trousers. Gee Watson showed us what was left of what used to be a full head of hair before he encountered Martin’s exploding shaft shampoo, followed by Harry Legge and his timesaving version of a mindfulness body scan meditation: heads, shoulders knees and toes (knees and toes). Gav Webb says he’s soon going to own a 2 bed house – his folks are pushing 80 so he’s praying for more cold weather – after which we had our fabulous headliner, Sallyann Fellowes (pictured). Sallyann now identifies as a moth – she loved that light so much, they kicked her out of John Lewis. At least she didn’t end up in the pasty factory as her teacher predicted – not even, as she thought, as content. Oh and Sallyann is famous… for going to Birmingham on purpose.
So that was our night at The Royal George. Join us next Thursday February 26th, with the utterly hilarious Mackenzie Pike and the simply fabulous Phil Green.