We had a rather cool evening at The Royal George on Thursday, starting with Paul Little, whose bosses tried to make him redundant as a librarian, to which he replied, ‘Shhhhh’. Rhys Jose then decided that given the presence of many Americans along with ceiling fairy lights, he’d actually died and gone to Vegas. Tony Carr had a rather interesting observation from the nurse who examined his posterior – she remembered she needed a new tool to sharpen her pencils – before Dylan Almeida shared his pride at coming from Kuwait, the freest country in the Middle East, aka low bar land. Rob McAlone hails from deepest Derbyshire which, unlike Kuwait, is so pristine, investors have never touched it. Next up was Mark Bloodworth. Mark was asked to invest in his own funeral – he was assured he’d get a return on his investment, even from beyond the grave. We then had Mani Ahmed. Mani is struggling in the heat – not because it’s hot, but because unlike white people, if he applies sunscreen he’ll look like he’s whiting up. Our closing headliner for the first half was the fabulous Nick Morey who took to the stage with wrapped fingers after breaking them on a bus – though you should see the state of the bus. Now Nick only gives high 3s.
Our second half kicked off with Nilly Sutton (pictured) who, after her husband’s death, was faced with endless admin – the hardest part being separating his ashes into 6 equal parts in handy little Tupperware containers. Andrew Maher then gave self-confessed ginger vibes – though even in Clapham he’s known as even being ‘ginger on the inside’. Roger Gewolb bemoaned his memory – he forgot to give his wife her birthday present: a burial plot. We then had Matt Brenner. Matt is neither right nor left wing – just anti-wing, aka ridding the world of birds, one meal at a time. It was then over to Charlie Firth, whose empathic doctor told him the best thing for his insomnia is to reduce his stress levels – cause otherwise he’d die early. Needless to say Charlie’s been sleeping like a baby ever since. Our closing headliner was the wonderful Sam Day. Sam may be a child of divorce from a musical family of eczema, but no one can beat his 2001 Face Odyssey. He even whipped out the New Zealand national anthem, accompanied by one of our audience members.
So that was our night at The Royal George. Join us next Thursday for our amazing Pride show for you on July 2nd with a hilarious line-up of LGBTQ fabulousness and a special guest headliner, the simply brilliant Kuan-wen Huang.