So we were at The Bell Tuesday night and what a cracking line-up we had. This was a huge advantage for me because by the evening’s second half I had such a banging headache I could quite literally barely see. So big thanks to all the acts for being fabulous. First to the stage was Barry Matthews (Pictured – in fact the only picture I took as I couldn barely see my phone screen after taking this). Barry’s wife is getting a bit forgetful apparently. Which is good for Barry as she’s forgotten she wanted to leave him. It was then over to Jakir Hussen and the teeny, weeny peenie club as popularised by the ancient Greeks. Luke Richards then showed why you should never trust ChatGBT with your ego before Luke McCarthy had us asking if Nazi gold was a greatest hits album for a dodgy band. Amogh Margoor then explained why when homesick he just calls up his bank’s customer service line. Tom Round then confessed to having a language barrier problem between him and his girlfriend: she’s American. Next was Declan Evans who’d brought his dad with him…to roast! Closing the first half was our reigning All Star Queen, the hilarious Kim Hope. Kim loves how friendly we are here in the UK and how delightfully skilful we are at stealth rudeness.
After the break we got off to a great start thanks to Emily McQuade and the ghost train of misery, aka Emily’s internal monologue. Talking of misery, Jodie King explained that there’s no misery quite like the privileged misery of champagne bubbles in a jacuzzi. It was then over to Stephen Tait and the joys of the disappointing dick pic. Brandon Charleston then gave us some insight into the real Bob the Builder before Barbora Beránková assured us all that she definitely doesn’t have a beard. After Barbora was Aydan Banks, who could have been Eddie Redmayne’s stunt double…when he was playing Stephen Hawking. Francesca Ayala-Rock was the evening’s penultimate act and is screwing the patriarchy with every missed waxing. Closing the show was the brilliant Arthur Mitchell. Arthur recently treated his wife to a gourmet meal. He even added the billing water to the Pot Noodle this time.
So that was our night at The Bell and it was a cracker. Sadly, we have no shows there next week due to an overbooking at The Bell.