Sunday afternoon at the Star of Kings got off to a great start thanks to Dylan Almeida who kicked things off by revealing that his dad is possibly the worst wingman in history, regularly introducing him as a misogynist. Mychelle Colleary then tackled the ethics of AI, though she did reassure us with the fun fact that it only uses 3–5% of the water that golf courses do. Ella Clark had clearly had enough of marathon runners proudly wearing their medals on the Tube after all, the only thing she’d finished this week was Netflix. Tom Love Carney is doing his bit for society by meditating, mainly to reduce the amount of crime he commits. Then Steve Hawthorne told us he has three great kids and one dud, which, statistically speaking, isn’t a terrible hit rate. Mohammad Mamdouh Ayoubub shared the unexpected dangers of visiting a German sauna, where things can quickly escalate into a fully nude fight. Closing the first half was the utterly insane Rosie Gray, whose surname has another meaning I can’t really share here, but she more than made up for it with an alarmingly accurate Neanderthal impression.
Opening the second half, Andrew Steel proved that his name is far cooler than he is, as he walked us through his somewhat troubled dating history. Tiger Veggiemamontien followed with a bittersweet update that he’s recently split up with his girlfriend, but on the plus side, he now has full custody of the air fryer. He’s also been perfecting the art of picking up women the Buddhist way. James Sutton reassured us all that yes, some people do find bald men attractive. After the first James came another, James Streeter who has noticed an odd pattern in his dating life: all his girlfriends seem to work with special needs children. Make of that what you will. Tony Carr made a rare effort on a Sunday, showered and put on clean underwear, only for his doctor to cancel the appointment. A tragic waste. Closing the show was the towering Steve Vertigo (pictured), who in a bold move to stop AI from stealing his job… simply quit first. Can’t be replaced if you’re not there.