Write-up by guest MC Amber Phillips
It was a sweltering Sunday afternoon at The Star of Kings this week! First up was Rhys Jose, who doesn’t enjoy holding other people’s babies, although he is one syllable away from agreeing with the Arsenal fans. Up next was Dylan Almeida, who thanks to his job in AI is the final boss of immigrants: stealing not one job, but thousands. Grace Miller then explained how, as a ‘Budget Taylor Swift’, she’s struggling to teach her pupils about healthy relationships. Then it was the turn of Steve Hawthorne, a metal-detecting enthusiast who really needs to stop looking for lingerie in Greggs. Closing the first half was the hilarious Andy Brittain . The son of a literal boomer, Andy explained that he hasn’t let himself go, he’s just sneezing fit. He’s also got a Rolf Harris painting, but don’t worry: he’s displaying it exactly how the artist would have wanted.
After Kyle wowed us with his magical drawing skills, Kim Hope kicked off our second half. As a gullible Aussie, Kim is just here for the peace and quiet (although she does feel like she’s been mis-sold the Great British Summer). Up next was Tony Matthews, a Dalai Lama lookalike who came to us from the Far East (aka Poplar) before Nina Shcheglova explained her allergy to sunlight and what it means to have a bad accent day. It was then the turn of Dan Grennan, an undercover cop who, in the presence of his mum no less, regaled us with tales of cock polishing. The stylish Marco Del Valle (pictured) explained why gonorrhoea from Milton Keynes is better than Bridgerton and why corporal punishment is so much better when it’s Versace. Closing the show was the fabulous Martina O’Sullivan. According to Martina, the Irish really know how to do funerals, to the point that RIP.ie has become the new Tinder. She also gave us some tips for raking in the communion cash, but whatever you do, don’t factor in inflation if you know what’s good for you…
So that was our show at The Star of Kings. See you on Sunday 31st, with the fabulously funny Lottie Grogan and the hilarious Lee VG .