So Wednesday at The Bell was our Growing Old Disgracefully show, the night for acts over forty and those who’ve been around a few blocks. First to the stage was Tracey Bowman and an ode to a hot tub thrupple. Next was Mark Vincent, a picture of health, like the one in Dorian Grey’s attic. It was then over to the fabulous Georgia Thorp (pictured), a jigsaw loving, hillwalking lesbian…who doesn’t own a cat! Michael Lloyd then told us about his unfortunate experience of reptile dysfunction at the zoo before Tony Matthews told us of his expensive affair. After Tony, and all the way from Austria, was Norbert Eichholzer and the Royal wedding that saw Trump marry King Charles. Sam Gray and the X Men role that Michael Jackson didn’t get. Richa Ahuja then told us why she reckons the bra is a non-essential garment. Closing the first half was Tony Carr and why you need to know that if you’re the 3rd child you were a mistake and why you should never have a comic at your funeral.
After the break, and a bit of historical card magic, we got off to a great start thanks to Barbara Fernandez…and not the derriere. Andrew Conway then gave us an insight on good sauna etiquette. It was the over to Ged Milligan and the tale of the nose on his face. After Ged was Sara Louise Aston, who would have done a great Leonardo DiCaprio, if only Hollyoaks had given her a chance. It was then over to Steve Hawthorne and why you can’t smoke a pork pie. It was then over to the multicultural, multilingual, multi-faithed Paul Rowinski. Out penultimate act was Neil Benson and Parkinson’s, the condition that means you can’t take a decent dick pic. Closing the show was the brilliant Andy Brittain, who recently had a car crash epiphany that he doesn’t speak Spanish. He also explained an interesting American evolutionary benefit that allows them to live in hurricane zones