Kicking off Tuesday’s show at The Bell was the hilarious Aarian Mehrabani and the tale of the full NHS swap and bottle routine. It was then over to Sam Gray and a fun fact: he shares his birthday with Neil Armstrong and they both look good in big puffy jackets. After Sam was Roger Gewolb and how you can knacker your knees in the pursuit of relationship harmony. Next was James Burley (pictured) and why he failed the Bonny Blue audition. After James was Prakash Mistry, who reckons he’ll never be fully British because he doesn’t know the words for Wonderwall…and doesn’t want to. It was then over to Nick James, the man who put punanny in the dictionary. Hot on James’ heels was Richard Jeffery, who still has so much in common with his ex: they both love c**k. Closing the first half was the glitzy fabulousness of Amber Phillips, who loves nothing more than a therapy Bourbon Creme…just don’t take the piss with her therapy biscuits!
The evening’s second half kicked off with some Egyptian magic before Gareth Beavis told us of the basic needs for families living in Twickenham: it’s basically ponies and piano lessons. Jason June then told us about why Joe Dick is good for you. It was then over to Phillip Reiss and the midlife crisis choice that starts in the wardrobe garage extension. It was then over to Steven Mayne and the mime acts that closed someone’s show. After Steve was Tony Matthews, whose recent romance really cost him. We then had some big style lesbian wife energy thanks to Will Hatfield before Rosie G (the winner of the evening’s search for a new dictionary word: “swervant”: someone who manages to sidestep anything of significance or importance) told us why we really should check in on Chris Martin now and then, just cos. Closing the show was the fabulous Nick Morey and why Celebrity Traitors is just like an average gay night out: fake smiles and then bitching each other off behind their backs before someone gets ostracised.