We had fun at The Bell last night – starting with Aarian Mehrabani who, when singing She’ll Be Coming ‘Round the Mountain, is left wondering just how long that dude is gonna wait. Matt Withers then led us in a minute of silence for the recently deceased Pizza Hut – the high streets mourned their passing with tired tomato slices and limp lettuce. Chiff Powell shared his biggest love of his life at age 50 – his shoe horn – before Tony Carr told us of his confusion with Gen this and Gen that – are Gen Xers people whose genders have been crossed out? Next up was Gabe. Gabe says it’s illegal to harm animals in the UK – unless you’re dining on them. We then had Paul Rowinski who has a dream. Being half Polish and half Italian, his dream is to be…a full English. Matthew Mj Hunter then said his girlfriend has infiltrated his phone – but he got no sympathy from the audience, as most didn’t believe he has a girlfriend. Closing the first half was the fabulous Tom Draper, who experienced the worst World Book Day ever – dressed as a book, he got tired of people bending his spine – though he did think the kid dressed as Jesus was going a bit too far with the whole stigmata thing with real nails.
Our second half began with Megan O’Brien, who is after her dream job: giving her toes a custard bath. Gareth Beavis then gave us why Humpty Dumpty after his great fall was immediately seen to by medical services: he clearly had friends in high places. Then Aleksandr Akuzovskii shared Russian drinking habits. Russians never drink after work – they’ve done all of that before even starting their shifts. It was then over to Torbjørn Johannessen Lindaas who, when diagnosed with type 2 bipolar, declined a second opinion – his voices had already confirmed the diagnosis. Our penultimate act was Ellie O’Brien. Ellie was stalked by a rather persistant, creepy ex – for not learning a language. Darn pesky owl. Closing the show was funny man Charlie Firth (pictured). Charlie’s first theatrical debut in his school nativity play left quite the mark on his life – his virgin wife is now pregnant (she has quite the excuse), and he wouldn’t even have made tonight’s gig if it weren’t for following that star.
So that was our night at the Bell! Join us next Tuesday on November 11th, with the musical hilarity of Eoghan Collins and the simply puntastic, powerhouse of one-liners Mark Rivlin.