We had a fun night at The Bell, starting with Lucy Jenner, who found herself in the middle of another office’s Remembrance silence period – as she was on the loo. Babetta Mann then confessed to stalking – oops – investigating thoughtfully – her ex. Tony Carr gave us some new ideas for TV programmes to watch, like Junior Bake-Off and, everyone’s new fave, Junior Naked Attraction. Saransh Sharma then admitted he loves a good pakora nan as much as the next person – though he prefers to stick to food that represents his Indian heritage. @xinliu followed up with her latest ‘trauma dump’ – coming face to face with other women’s chests – before Jill Duncan gave us a new public enemy who is acting way above their station: tenderstem broccoli. Closing the first half was the puntastic Mark Rivlin. Mark used to be afraid of climbing rocks, but he’s getting bolder. Just don’t get him started about your car’s failed MOT.
Our second half kicked off with Calvin Smith. Calvin was told to follow his dreams – till he had that dream about his neighbour. Freddie Cornwell followed Calvin with some excellent advice when waiting at a Brixton bus stop at midnight: maybe do judge a book by its cover, if that cover is screaming ‘frightening bedwetter’. Nora Mawla was next, saying she often gets misnamed as Laura – but she’s hoping that one day, her dad will catch on. It was then over to Tom Draper who, like Lucy, had a challenging 2 minutes of silence – though his was spoiled by disrespectful shouting and crying. That baby sure didn’t like getting the pram tires slashed. Our penultimate act was Ellie Wood. After lots of soul searching, Ellie discovered her new method for accelerating her spiritual awakening: microdosing mushrooms on the school run. Closing our show was the musical marvelousness of Eoghan Collins. Eoghan gets nervous whenever he sees condoms, cause thanks to his local pharmacist, he wasn’t getting any – and neither was the pharmacist’s daughter. He also is extra careful while teaching drama in prison – although he says the teaching is punishment for the inmates, the inmates say a well-placed Shania Twain poster could mean he’d get more than he bargained for – a conjugal visit.
So that was our night at the Bell – join us next Tuesday on November 18th with the simply fabulous, utterly hilarious Nick Morey.