Write-up by guest MC Barbara Fernandez
We had a great time on Sunday at The Star of Kings, starting with Amber Phillips, who says nothing quite compares to getting your fave Italian takeaway from a lovely Greek lady who takes after a German dictator and orders you to ‘not wobble the fish’. We then had Ian Colyer and his challenging journey with Brighton commuters, some who skate on a farthing and others who travel in style – parcours. Grace Miller gave her students the best definition of an irregular verb – her own cycles – before Sam Day (pictured) says he was part of a criminal gang, but they had to kick him out cause it turns out they didn’t want to groove to the beat of ‘time to move the body’. It was then over to Tony Carr and his translations of job interviews – fave hobbies of TV and reading are actually p*rn and wanking – followed by Will Snape, whose mum says he looks just like Jesus – all he has to do is find those abs. Ian Shatwell was next (aka Ian Shore) with his and his wife’s big decision to not have kids – now to inform their offspring. Nigel Wolfin reassured us all that there really is safety in numbers thanks to his calculator tee, before our fabulous closing headliner Arthur Mitchell. Arthur worries his friends as they don’t know what makes him tick – why does he make those sounds, anyway? He did invest in a book on healthy living, but it was a washout – the author is no longer alive.
Our second half began with Gareth Beavis. Gareth provided us all with something we didn’t know about Humpty Dumpty who got immediate attention when he had a pesky health problem. Turns out Humpty knew all the right people. Roger Clarke then shared that his girlfriend wanted a 24-carat present, but it turns out the answer wasn’t his bunch of veggies. Katy Barber, a nurse, says she’s working very hard towards that pay raise that will enable her to… park at the hospital. Next up was George Elcock, who is truly concerned that his hairline is receding like the financial crisis – that trip to Turkey may remain a dream. Andrew Norwood reminded us that the 1st of Feb is a day for celebrating…it’s the start of 11 months of excessive drinking, British style. We then had Richard Taylor, who was highly suspicious of a text he got from his mum recently, as he hasn’t spoken to her since the late 80s – unless via a medium. It was then over to Bloody Marie (aka Marie Verger) who says if life gives you lemons in an awkward part of your body, the least you can do is use them to make lemonade. James Streeter says he’s had girlfriends who all seemed to have worked with special needs children – as he’s autistic, he’s convinced they wanted to bring their work home. Our closing headliner was the wonderful Kim Hope, who continues the tradition of her great great great grandparents sent to Australia – stealing. Kim has been in the UK long enough to know, though, that when the British Transport Police says ‘see it say it sort it’, they may see it, but they won’t sort it, and if they say it, it will be a rather British skillfully phrased passive aggressive way of calling you a clueless convict.
So that was our show! Join us next Sunday at The Star of Kings on February 8th with myself as resident songbird, the mellifluous Barbara Fernandez and the utterly hilarious Michael Campuzano.