We had a great night at The Star of Kings yesterday, beginning with Rosie G (Rosie Gray) who is working on her autobiography – so far she’s got the title: Blue and Cheap. Next up was Rowdy Bear with some faith healing, ably assisted by Willie Nelson’s spirit. Harry Legge had the perfect response to a hairdresser while they’re laying to rest your previously perfect head of hair – tell them you look amazing – before Ajay says his zip-file size means kids come in handy: they can hand him his drink from down off the bar. We then had Alistair Nicol who, thanks to drama school is fully qualified to work in Starbucks, before Mohammad Ayoub provided the best way to get ahead in a long queue: get your blind friend to literally bump you both up to the front. Matt Rodriguez says his mum really doesn’t like him taking drugs – she wants to get to them first. It was then over to Stanislav Gunko. Stan now lives in Lewisham, which is easy to find – just follow the trail of Find my Phone. Our closing headliner was the fabulous Mark Vincent, who is doing rather well: his prostate has become radicalised, his liver has decided it’s a Cornish pasty and if you need wall insulation, his blood is happy to help.
Our second half began with the musical rap of Roops, who brought back David Lynch from the dead to of course perform a musical. Mandy Celine (Mandy Hynes) gave us a new view of the Walkie Talkie building: the architect’s creation did burn cars, but his previous one burnt people, so at least he’s improving. Jake Pemberton gave an excellent impression of what it’s like swimming in the middle lane – mayhem – before Andy Laird had the catchphrase suitable for any situation if you’re at a loss for words: ‘parlez-vous français ?’ We then had some dancing from Tony Matthews all the way from the Far East…Poplar… before Mark Kendrick Johnson, who has a question for the Royals: for 55 million pounds a year, would it be too much to ask for a touch of botox or a sequin or two? Rob McAlone then shared an aspect of getting stuck – and potentially passing – in Dubai: people would think he didn’t pay his taxes. Our closing headliner was the musical brilliance of Eoghan Collins. Eoghan’s granddad was so impressed by the family tree of Cromwellians that he hung himself from it. Oh and teeth, by the way, are like kids – rather annoying when you lose a few.
So that was our night – join us next Monday at The Star of Kings on Monday, April 27th with the chaotic hilarity of Sam Day and G&B’s own songbird, the fabulous Barbara Fernandez.