Our Monday night at the Star of Kings got off to a cheeky start, with the king of cheek, Dick Speed (aka James Watkins). Dick led us in some fun and games involving a mystery box that might or might not have contained his dinner. We then had Ben Marciano. Ben says turning water into wine isn’t all it’s cracked up to be – you might just find yourself on a treatment plan. Dipak Patel then shared how he became a true believer in karma – it’s called having kids. After Dipak was Con Barbour, who had a rather disappointing headmaster: rather than an exciting encounter, all he wanted from Con was to discuss uni choices. Jacqui Stevens Doherty (pictured) then gave us the best description of a long-term marriage: ready salted crisps. Next up was Olya Wynn-Williams. Olya says you know when someone has thrown in the towel when it comes to their ambitions – it’s called deodorant au naturel. Luke Richards then shared that comedians have a huge advantage over NHS workers – they can actually live off of appreciation. Closing our first half was the wonderfully batty Mark Vincent, who says the solution to avoiding local crime is a simple one: nits and ringworm. Oh – and why follow a heart-healthy diet when you can watch mosquitos clutching their chests?
Our second half kicked off with the one and only Moss (aka James Watkins). Moss took us on a journey involving mic stands as record spinners, pillow fights and even a pillow holdup. After Moss was Katie Edkins, whose work for the mental health sector of the NHS means she’s got friends who are always eager to chat. It was then over to Radu Szasz. Radu says it’s tough working a till if you struggle with decimal points, though you can always wreak havoc on your enemies with some handy poisoned snacks. Next up was Mj Hunter, who has learned that it’s not always best to whip out your rapper skills at your nan’s funeral. After MJ was Adrian Peyrotad – Adrian has discovered the key to a simple life: rather than be French or Swiss, you can just be depressed. Lindsey Pugh then shared how her experience of dating apps really came in handy when choosing the right surgeon – she knows how to choose someone who can go the distance. We then had Monty Cairnes with boys, girls and unfortunate incidents with doorknobs (or was that knobs and doors) before Lucy Jenner‘s tales of her top level training as both a stalker and a barrister – or was that for Starbucks? Either way, she’s on her way up. Closing our show was the fabulously bonkers Steve Vertigo, with string theory, dressing as string, the invention of homelessness (turns out we have a certain car park up north to thank for that) and some reassurance for all the frequent flyers in the room – turns out the power of flight is thanks to an imaginary number.
So that was our show! There’s no show on May 6th as it’s a bank holiday, but the following Monday on May 13th we’ll have G&B’s poet laureate, the infectious idiocy that is the hilarious Jack Scullion.