Write-up by guest MC Barbara Fernandez
It was a fun show yesterday at the Star of Kings, starting strong with Pete Kinsella. Pete hails from Surrey, where even Satan uses tableware fit for a king. If only Satan were that funny! Following Pete was Calvin Smith, who says his new extra comfy mattress is no match for a luscious booty – it only leaves him with the meth head walk of shame. Annabelle Minkova was next, who prides herself on being ethnically ambiguous to confuse those ethnic restaurant window shoppers. We then had Alexander Tang, expert in the traditional British afternoon tea: where all the clientele is white and the staff are not. Next up was Jack Short who shared the very best way to join your local picket line – a placard in one hand and a mimosa in the other. After Jack was Chris Summers. Chris misses the days of homemade smut – just like mama used to make. Closing the first half was the wonderful zaniness of Nicky Vere-Compton, whose proud rendering of the musical version of the gender queer non binary includes nostalgia for the days of singing as a comic baritone while peeling boiled eggs in the pirate ship in the family basement to swooning over a furry mustache.
Our second half got off to a sharp start with Adam Bownass who, having made his fav balloon animal (him before birth), proceeded to string us along with lots of needles (and gasping from me!) Following Adam was Chris Cray, who has brought new meaning to his contributions to office Zoom calls – or was that the sounds he makes during marital sex? Turns out they’re one and the same. After Chris was Amaia Alustiza. Spanish Amaia has found the golden ticket to UK dating – saying ‘chorizo’ to you – if you ask nicely. We then had Jakir Hussen who had a different dating experience from Amaia, he has to consult his Ouija board to find where his prospects have gone. Stephen Portlock was up next, with a practical pronouncement: is the glass half full? Half empty? For the safety of all concerned, he’s better off without one. Next up was Jackie Linn Averia who has declared herself a doctor of comedy – to keep the parents happy. And was that weed she found on the floor at a club? Or just California having her back? Closing the show was our own wonderfully funny Callum Mackenzie. Callum’s parents say you don’t know the meaning of tribulation till you’ve had to steal veg from a snowman to get your five a day. No stranger to veg himself, Callum loves nothing more than a people-watching trip to his local Wetherspoons, where curry may be a tin of beans with paprika, but at least his culinary knowledge isn’t being tested by smug waiters in fancy restaurants.
So that was our show! Join us next Sunday at the Star of Kings for a fab array of comedians, featuring headliners Callum Mackenzie and Emily Cairns previewing their new show!