We had quite the packed and powerful night at the Royal George. First up was Rohan Ashar who says he’s now referred to as a ‘person of colour’, but if you give him a couple of quid, you can call him ‘comedian of brown’. Mac O’Donnell was next, Mac has a loyalty card for his sexual health clinic in Clapham – where else will he find his fellow Aussies? Kyriakos Vlachos has been told as a primary school teacher, he needs to be more enthusiastic – so he’s reinvented himself as Eastern Europe’s Alexa. We then had Ricky Baker, who demonstrated the latest in modern tech: a hybrid of a Google phone and an iPhone, aka, the Googly Eye Phone. Lucy Jenner was next, who says she’s not really a lesbian: she just really wanted a mullet. Ben Marciano then defined what dry January means in Essex – the residents go camel and deny themselves water – followed by Rachel (RL Brooksby). Rachel self-identifies as a non-swishy woman, though give her a scarf to wear and you’ll think she wants to lead you to Jesus. Declan Evans then shared his latest discovery: his local car salesman deals in counter sniffings – or ‘fun’ baking powder, depending on who you are. Closing the first half was the fabulous David Ferguson (pictured). David says being on stage is his happy place – even if he’s facing the wrong way. David is determined to bring back the gay ‘f word’, too – mostly because he is, in his words, a ‘flaming collection of sticks’.
Our second half kicked off with Mani Ahmed, who is doing a split bill with an Indian friend – so naturally his parents are invested, as long as Mani gets the half with the most natural resources. Elle Simmons then made a strong declaration: she won’t flash her chest to get ahead in comedy – mostly because her boyfriend deserves some time off. Grace Kelly Miller was next, sharing her puzzlement at her head teacher’s request for her to teach about healthy relationships: he had no concept of consent. Simon Gallow followed on with some wise words for performers: you know your Ed Fringe show hasn’t pleased someone when they say that rather than watch your show, they’d rather be stapled to someone’s gonads. We then had Harri Mac: Harri says when you do your birthday number 2 to wipe the slate clean, the slate is optional. Next up was Aarian Mehrabani whose facial features take on different meanings depending on your accent – especially in the North or the UK (turns out they are two different countries). @danielbrindley then told us how you can tell your future will be golden: when you look exactly like Google’s first pic for erectile dysfunction. Connor Bell then told us about his fight with a gorilla: they’re both in the same weight category, but only one of them speaks English without a Liverpudlian accent. Closing the show was the wonderful Stanislav Gunko, who is half Ukranian half Russian. So half of him hates Putin, but the other half won’t say it out loud. Stan has had quite the jet lag to deal with in London – turns out when it’s 10:15pm in London, in Russia it’s 1984.