So it was a nicely busy evening at The Star of Kings on Monday and first to the stage was the hilarious Dipak Patel. As a brown man, Dipak has a problem with EDL supporters: they all look the same to him. It was then over to Neil Davies and news that he’s recently discovered he’s front of the queue for death…in a country that takes queuing very seriously. We then had Sonny Savage whose working class roots meant for years he thought lamb shank was a type of knife. Next was Fred Dent whose waxer had a fascinating conversation with his hairy cheeks. Will Earle then cleared up the mystery of the perineal wand reviews before Nick Bain explained just why one should never douche with Peligrino…even in an emergency. Prakash Mistry then confessed to having a subscription to piggy, piggy TV aka PornHub. It was then over to Lucy Jenner who told us just what is in a well spelt title: a considerable difference in the pay packet. Mr Corporate, the fabulous Phillip Cornwall was next with what turned out to be the vagina inkblot test. Closing the first half was Steven Mayne (pictured). Steven shared some tales from his past that both educated and left the room with the message “just say no’ or at least no for now.
After the break we got off to a cracking start thanks to Mj Hunter. MJ has recently discovered he might not be smart enough to whack off. Martin Ashworth then told us he is currently looking for work and is thoroughly experienced in being made redundant. After Martin was Stanley MacDonald whose friends might think he’s imaginary. No one tell them. Max Silver then explained just why Pimp My Ride would never work here; no one could ever get insurance! Ollie Taylor then had a sex ed set he really wasn’t ready for before Lenny Consolo, the multilingual man who still isn’t keen on working afternoons. The evening’s penultimate act was Toby Baddeley who explained why the Olympics are at best just a big, global geography lesson. Closing the show was the brilliant Declan Kennedy. After years of anonymous donations to various spern banks, Declan is starting to see some familial faces at some gigs. He would like to formally apologise for Ed Sherin, however.