t was a really fun night at The Star of Kings on Monday. First to the stage was Jamie Henderson, who says sh’d rather take her chances on global warming rather than have to deal with low rider jeans again. Next was Seraj Alijan, the lapsed Iranian who reckons if you waterboarded him now it’d have to be with Pellegrino. It was then over to Fred Bell who wanted to do comedy years ago, but was afraid of dying on stage…so he joined The Army instead. It was then the turn of SJ Wyatt, the fabulous non-binary act whose pronoun is Timelord! After SJ was Martin Ashworth, whose parents wanted nothing more than him to be more like Jesus. Up next was David Robinson. David doesn’t get why salt and pepper is a compliment. It’s the most boring condiments. We then had Ricky Boby who who’s a great dad with a 90% success rate at picking the correct kid up from school. Charlie Firth then told us of his first “excitement” and just how problematic it ended up. Ro Dodgson was next with the news that non-binary nipples are now ok on Instagram. Closing the first half we had the legendary Master Yogie Belle (aka Michael Yanny). Yogie freed our inner voices and had the audience running naked in their imaginations…all the way to Yogie’s spiritual conservatory.
After the break, and a bit of card con magic, we got off to a great start with Felix Parkin and his struggles with addiction. He’s tried to quit, but those Haribos are just too easy to get. It was then over to James Sutton, who’s no fool; he’s saved money by using the giant toothbrush next to the loo. After James was Maria Bywater, who reliably informed us she was not, as far as she knows, conceived on a Croydon roundabout. The evening’s penultimate act was Katie Tweddle (pictured) who just can’t cook while cremating. Closing the show was the hilarious Marc Salmon. Marc has cracked the intimacy code. It’s all about regular and affectionate sharing of flatulence.
So that was last night and what a fun gig it turned out to be. Next week I’m up in Edinburgh, so your MC for the week will be Felix Parkin. On Monday he’ll have Billy Kerr and Ricky Boby headlining.