Last night at the Star kicked off with Nick Morey who, thanks to his glasses, can become every member of McFly in a flash. Tony Carr had the joy of receiving a thoughtful gift from his kids for his 60th – a voucher to be cremated – before Tony Chou declared that you can’t count on him for quality: after all, he’s made in China. Rohan Ashar recounted his travels to the wilds of the north of England, where you’d have a better chance finding Wally than any fellow brown people, followed by Dr Jimmy Lions (pictured, aka James Lyons). The good doctor proved to us that particle waves are indeed gay: put them through a prism and they create a rainbow. Next up was Tony Matthews, who hates vampires: they’re a pain in the neck. Phil Green shared his new hobby – rehabilitating newly divorced men. Phil comes prepared: with patience, empathy, and pork scratchings. Closing the first half was Sonny Savage. Sonny says it’s good news that everyone can say queer now – well, everyone except his dad: his east London twang can make even the most innocuous word an insult. Sonny also asks the big life questions: like, are flies smug? After all, unlike birds and other flying creatures, they’ve patented the name.
Our second half opened with Jonny Bennett (Jonathan Bennett). Jonny lives in Dalston, so while he’s never heard of DIY, he’s an expert on avos and the Lizzie line. Eoghan Collins shared how opening a mayo jar separates the men (his gf’s dad) from the boys (him), before James Townsend gave us his highest accolade he received at work: the award for most likely to snuff someone. Paul Gilbert gave a discourse on veggie lions before Guillaume (Guillaume Buisson-Hainaut) described what really makes his day: passing wind. Next up was Ziad Samaha. Ziad is not a fan of some of his countrymen: for him, they really put the ick in Arabic. Our penultimate act, Mac O’Donnell, gave us his best remedy when he misses his fellow Australians – hanging out at the STD clinic in Clapham. Closing the show was our own Matthew Mj Hunter who, despite what some say, has a GF who’s not inflatable. MJ says even with all the will in the world, he’s not the most effective addition to a threesome – he’s got 2 moves, and the second one is always an apology.
So that was our night! Join us next Monday where, rather than at the Star of Kings, we’ll be at the The Phoenix, Cavendish Square for the final of our All Stars competition and G&B’s 11th birthday!