We had a fun night at the Star of Kings yesterday! It started with Max Norman, who identifies not as a BLT but rather a PLT – posh lanky twat. Following Max was Phoebe Taylor, who says no need to wait till your vape makes you right-wing: you can reach out to all the right people on LinkedIn and get a hot date in the process. We then had Cathy White, who is looking for the perfect man: one who doesn’t mind a bit of feline waterboarding. Paul Little (not Tom!) was next, who proudly represented the mature student community: bringing, as ever, a profound sense of unease to any university campus. Georgia Thorp then shared whether you’re after plastic bouquets, wedding dresses with matching surfboards, or a partner for life, that Aldi middle aisle has it all and more. Raj Kukadia was next, who warned us of the dangers of relieving onesself on the 3rd rail of the train tracks – just as well he’s too busy getting up to no good in Ibiza for any of that. After Raj was Amber Phillips. Amber says when you go for a birthday card, the choice between football plus pint or a canal barge plus pint is a difficult one – sometimes you gotta go with a gorilla’s behind. Becky Jade then shared her enjoyment of her sprinklings of autistic spice – if only her mum wasn’t a Korma. It was then over to Brendan King who says his workdays are action-packed: it’s tough trying to fit in more work when you’re sandwiching in that second shower between the wanking and ciggie breaks. Callum Mackenziethen took us on a tour of art galleries where eager-to-impress men wax lyrical about the artistry of…exit signs.
Our second half opened with Carwyn Blayney (pictured). Carwyn had us all rapt with his lyrical rendition of McDonald’s reviews put to music – hilarious poetry, you had to be there! It was then over to Donal Keane (Dónal Ó Catháin) who has dedicated himself to the task of bringing the sexy vibe to the data scientist world. No wonder he’s known as Big D. We then had Adam Wright – whose favourite pastime is running straight at the mirror to see who will flinch first. He hasn’t beaten the mirror man…yet. Clément Cohen then demonstrated his RAF face – resting arrogant, to stay true to his French roots. And yes, he will indeed sell his parents for a packet of ciggies. Ollie Taylor schooled us on what to do if we come across a bear – you never know in London – before Tom Bridge pondered the ethics of recruiters: he’s not sure they can tell the difference between people and used cars. Closing the show was the fabulous Marc Salmon. Marc says nothing gets you in the mood to meditate quite like the screams of an American drill sergeant. At least he can still put his life skills to good use: eating a sandwich while wiping bums – even while using James Bond’s arch nemesis: Toe Finger.
So that was our Sunday show! Join us next Sunday at the Star of Kings for the simply brilliant, sidesplittingly hilarious Paul Merryck!
