Write-up by guest MC Calvin Smith
First to the stage at The bell on may 21st was the simply hilarious Marcos Brito (or Dicky Minaj) with a heart-warming tale about pastry adverts and German translations. After Marcos, was Chris Cowan who got stood up today so he treated us to a truly uplifting lounge tribute to all the different types of men out there. Next up was Rob McAlone. Rob’s doctor recently told him that if you’ve got more grey hairs on one side of your beard than the other – you’ve got OCD. Then it was over to Jimbo Beaumont who made sure that all our equipment had been solidly sound-checked, and that the audience was really listening… Then we had Anastasia (Marigold Lately), who found out more than she’d bargained for about herself, and our audience. Closing the first half we had the wonderful one-liners of Mark Rivlin, who despite his age, went out clubbing last night – boy those seals are fast. Mark regaled us with everything from Elton John to crosswords, and had us all in stitches.
Kicking us off for the second half was Alexander Putilin (pictured), who pondered what activities Jesus would get up to in today’s immoral world – he reckons Jesus wouldn’t turn water into wine, he’d turn flour into Meth. Then it was over to Phil Blunt who worries about how the British public respond to documentaries since Jamie Olivers documentary about school dinners actually boosted the sale of battery chickens by 55% – and channel 4 have just released a new documentary about grooming gangs. Our penultimate act was Sabrina, who gave us an insight into love and dancing up north which she heard while eavesdropping on the neighbours – apparently one of them had an orgasm so big they lost a filling. Closing the show we had the magnificent mirth of Eoghan Collins. Eoghan was nervous to try Ayahuasca for the first time, so decided to try some other drugs to get the hang of things, and ended up with butter all over his walls and a very unconventional bath…