We had a fabulous night at the Royal George Charing Cross Road – it began with Dipak Patel (pictured), who received the worst insult for someone from south London – being called a hipster. Nigel Wolfin then gave us the title you never knew you wanted for finding a hot accountant to date – Let’s Get Fiscal – before Adam Dorr shared his heritage from a multi-disabled family: grandma has dementia, mom has loss of hearing, he’s autistic – so his future kid is geared up to be…short. Marc Cohen then said a woman finally agreed (after a lot of nagging) to show him her chest. Which was fortunate, as she’s his wife. Jimbo Beaumont then entered the stage – he thought it was Wembley – and in true rock star fashion, almost took it down with him – before Paul Little pointed out the audience had formed a ‘fun sandwich’: front row men, middle row women, back row men…with an anarchic mix at the back table. Eve Perry then gave the best reasons ever to get diagnosed with ADHD: you’ll no longer miss out on amphetamines. Closing the first half was the fabulous Mac O’Donnell. Mac has worked out how to calculate the safety of your local area: check out the number of security guards in the KFC. Turns out Croydon isn’t on top, what with needing the Army Reserve.
Our second half kicked off with Phil Green who achieved the Chief Scouting Award at the tender age of 13, and has been riding hard on the coattails of that particular glory…especially on his LinkedIn profile. Kate Mc said she’s a proud resident of a quality south London neighbourhood. Kate knows it’s top-notch, because, well, it’s not got a Gail’s yet…but it’s Gail’s adjacent. Kamien Dean then shared his surprise at performing in Soho…fully clothed… before Eoghan Collins serenaded us, even sharing his occasional desire to leave this earth – thanks to watching Mrs Brown’s Boys. Cameron Holder then gave us some cracking fashion – which he has dubbed ‘lesbian lumberjack’. Handy, as he does like a bit of wood. Next up was Pulkit Ghoderao. Pulkit went to church to find love, but sadly he blasphemed in front of his intended by citing the unmentionable…science. Ian Colyer then asked a piercing question about his local school: why did the kids need consent forms to go on school trips, when breaktime required crash helmets and life insurance? Sophie Stemmons was next, with the best strategy to make sure a baby is bullied: name it Ginger Gooch. Closing the show was the wonderful Rohan Ashar. Rohan is both Indian and autistic, which means not only is he double trouble, but he’s better than most of the room at maths (despite our accountants in the room). His first name means ‘ascending’, but much to his parents’ disappointment, Rohan has yet to ascend, even from a comedy basement pub.
So that was our night at the Royal George Charing Cross Road! Join us next Thursday with the 2024 queen of the G&B All Stars, the utterly hilarious Kim Hope.