Write-up by guest MC Barbara Fernandez
As you can see by the picture, we had a fun time last night at Star of Kings. First up was James Sutton, who has been a busy guy, between experiments on worms vs cats and glazing over granny. David Robinson was next, who moved to London to enjoy the delights of bakeries that were once brothels and Tesco bag baddies. We then had Alex Howard who says where he’s from, the only way to see anyone even slightly alternative is to evacuate the tattoo parlour. Thanks to Charlie Firth we then learned the true function of dual button toilets (picture, anyone?) before Tony Carr shared practical advice for anyone receiving dick pics and how to get one over on the Comedy Store. It was then over to Alex (Alexandra Walker) who, thanks to growing up in Greece, has made public toilet hovering an art form. Val Pop then shared her adjustments to the UK, where tea is both tea and dinner and medical care may include toilet paper but doctors are optional. Next up with a rocking haircut was Luke McCarthy, who funnily enough was in need of toilet paper – though he was in Spain, and when the only words in Spanish you know are newspaper and pen, well, you’re in a bit of a pickle. Next up was Jack Scullion (pictured) who took us to a stag do in Benidorm, complete with Spanish waiter, San Miguel, and of course poetry. We then got a taste of the impact of global warming thanks to Harry Hopla, who says the biggest tragedy is that the Garys are dropping like flies. Closing our first half was Will Slack, who shared little-known skills such as how to get sunburned in a building. At least he now knows what pepper is, thanks to his ex in-laws.
Our second half kicked off with the one and only Dick Speed (aka James Watkins), the game show host with the mostest who brought his box of tricks to the stage with hands that may or may not smell like hot dog water. Next up was Deniro B Stocks who is not a top, not a bottom – just an only child with a needs must rigorous skincare routine. Then thanks to Sam Hampson we now know why funerals are so difficult – the fashion choices! Following Sam was Christopher Donovan. Christopher worked in a betting shop behind glass that may have been bulletproof but definitely wasn’t idiotproof – when your customers want to bet on the likelihood of someone being killed, it’s easy to feel like you’re in the wrong job. Ben Hunt then shared the most dangerous part of being operated on as a tween – those post op interactions when you’re one sleep away from a wet dream. We then had Bertie Simpson who lost his virginity when young, but got it back again and is keeping it safe. Marc Salmon then sang of parasite love and Michael Caine impressions before Lisa Murphy shared her journey from the depths of Essex to London, complete with foxes and a rather large Beetle. Closing the show was Mr Corporate himself, Phillip Cornwall. Although Phil struggles with buzz word addiction, he’s sorting himself out – by going to meetings for buzz word addiction. You may well find him dropping in to your next meeting like your drunk relative – though he’s now given us the formula for creating corporate speak that can make your career soar (and your friends cringe).
So that was our show! Join us next Tuesday at the Star, where our headliners are New Act winner Matthew Mj Hunter and the king of hilarious prop comedy chaos, Richard Woolford.