We were at The Albany – Great Portland Street last night for what was our last non Girlpower show of 2022. First up was the brilliant Olly Hume (pictured) who gave us a musical number dedicated to his best mate…or more specifically, his best mate’s sister. After Olly was the wonderful Jay Eck who reckons UK immigration should simply have people down a couple of pints of lager to see if that person would fit in here. Next was Max Norman, a tall man with little time for short people. And don’t get him started on Tom Cruise. No, seriously, don’t! It was then over to Leo Ma, someone else with a proportion problem who can’t get his head round the aesthetics of being topped by a short guy. We then had Luke Hall, who believes that if you’re not injuring yourself during a wank you’re not doing it right. Ronan Herc then informed us that gingers don’t go to Hell. Primarily due to not having a should, but also because the amount of sun block required would bankrupt Satan. Brad Kanethen explained how to sexily shave your partner’s knees. JUST DON’T. After this we had Joe Thomas, who still harbours understandable resentment for being called short, spotty and overweight…in a school report! The amazing lady that is Sharon Jackson was next with news that she has collectively spent longer in the bath this year than Liz truss did in Downing Street. Closing the show was the brilliant Aidan Morris. Aidan can’t be doing with people who manages to get fit during lockdown, proving that all it took was spare time. She also harbours some resentment towards her contraceptive pill, that daily passive aggressive reminder she Ian’t getting any.
After the break we got off to a cracking start thanks to Sang Don Park who constantly fears the possibility of assassination from a disappointed family member. We then had James Burnham who has a problem with his ex-girlfriend; she’s now his wife. It was then over to Dylan Clarke, who is regularly told he either looks like a stoner or Jesus. He disagrees and when mashed the other night even Jesus told him they look nothing like each other. Giulia Bottaro was after Dylan with just why food is waaaaaay more than mere sustenance before Tony Carr wondered why no one ever says someone’s an utter twat at their funeral. Go to a funeral in Glasgow. It’s often more like a roast. We then had a new face to G&B, the hilarious Pablo Saura, who gave us some great advice: if you want to keep your job, don’t Google ‘anal’ on the work’s computer. It was then over to Emily Marshall who identifies as a middle class mum and whose two sons are called John and Lewis. Our penultimate act was the fabulous Martin Joseph, who is now a freelance marriage councillor and can express your relationship trauma through the medium of dance. Closing the show was a real G&B fave, Declan Kennedy. Declan says people are confused when he tells them he doesn’t drink. He can see them question: so how did ‘this’ happen? He also offered a handy tip to the room’s parents. If you want to know if your kids are gay, just find out if they ever enjoyed Frasier.
So that was our show at The Albany – Great Portland Street. Next week we’re moving from our usual Tuesday slot and Girlpower Night at The Albany is on the Monday. Headlining we have Kimberly Policella and Sally Firth (aka Siân Spry) with the brilliantly bonkers Victoria Melody MCing. See you then.