Write-up by guest MC Barbara Fernandez
Our Halloween night was quite the show! Kim Hope started us off with some ghoulish (yet true) tales of her mum playing dead – apparently corpse kissing is hereditary – before Edward Stationary Hands (Max Norman) took to the stage looking like a cross between a mad windmill and a naughty garden gnome – oh and there was a cross, too. Indescribable fun! We then had Mark Vincent to inject us with some normality – if normality is installing CCTV up the back door cause there are too many unwanted visitors Next up was Tom the Monster Hunter (aka Gabriel E. Bowker) who gave us incontrovertible proof that monsters are real – thanks to his trusty pen and sketchpad. Speaking of monsters, we had a visit from Oedipus Redux (aka Paul Little). Oedipus had some excellent advice for us: keep your friends close but your son-who-might-kill-you-and-sleep-with-your-wife closer. Afterwards it was Karan Mehra who, as a demure Chinese woman dressed as an Indian man, shared that in India, the pavement is way more inclusive, as you don’t have to be a person. You can also be a cow or a bus. Closing the first half was the magical Adam Bownass. Adam is grateful for Halloween cause it’s the one time of year where his outfit can match his facial hair. Speaking of his face, we learned it’s pretty flexible – you can trust Adam with your diamonds, cause despite traveling through various facial cavities, they’ll always find their way back to you.
Our second half opened with Andrew Dipple, who always follows his mum’s sage advice: if you ever come across a stranger, it’s only polite to clean up. We then had Cuthbert Lambert (aka Bertie Lambert) who says his name may hail from another age but his dating is very much this century – convincing his date of the mathematical agenda of the Taliban. It was next over to John Gadsden. John has a laundry list of people whose legs should be broken – and we have to say we heartily agree. Closing the show was the Queen of Halloween herself, the fabulous Emily McQuade. Emily is finding times are tough – she’s overdrawn at her erotic building society. No worries, though, the ghost lads are out to help, including helping her avoid awkward encounters with clumsy movers by haunting her sex toys.
So that was our show! Join us next Tuesday at the Star, where we’ll have two cracking headliners for you: the champion of sartorial elegance, the hilarious Mark Vincent and G&B’s all time fave BFG, the brilliant Pete Kinsella.