We were at Arch1 last night and it was another of those nights where acts who’ve never been to The Arch before come in and say, “This is an awesome venue!” If you’ve never been to Arch One, you’re missing out on a truly unique place. Anyway, it was a great crowd we had last night and first to entertain them was Michael Cumes. Michael reckons he’s so gay he considers poppers a digestif. It was then over to Luke Hall who reliably informs us that an apple a day really doesn’t keep the doctor away…or is anywhere near enough to live on. Frances Jane then told us she was sporting a new pair of vintage trousers from Arizona, a little known province of Bangladesh, apparently. After Frances was Nicky Vere-Compton who reliably informed us the Carry on Screaming was not a porn flick. We then had Gary Manhine apologising on behalf of his people for the who Jesus debacle. Although he does think it’s about time we got over it. James L Reading then explained the problems of arguments in open plan and their inherent door slamming difficulties. Our next act, Keith Mendes, is a bit of a pro hula hooper, but if that doesn’t work out he’s always got that annoying medical degree to fall back on. It was then over to Dillon Harris, who has come to terms with the fact he was quite definitely a contraceptive mistake he parents made. David Hawes was next, doing his bit for London tourism. Did you know the Circle Line is just to keep tourists off the streets? Hot on David’s heels was Donatas Staneika and his favourite social housing scheme: Buckingham Palace. Closing the first half we had the brilliant Sang Don Park, who loves the English accent and its ability to conquer the globe. He especially loves our winters because it gets dark so early which makes racism that little bit more complex.
After the break we got off to a cracking start with Ronan Herc and Tom Daley’s government sponsored conversion calendar. We then had the fabulous Indi Madray, whose brother was so white her parents called him Dave. Stephen Portlock was after Indi with news that bed bugs are no reason to call off sex, just to make it quicker and more vigorous. It was then over to Rebecca Sangster-Kelly and the sex roulette of pregnancy before Joachim Treasurer confessed to turning into his mum after a couple of jaeger bombs. Our next act, Pablo Suara, gave the crowd some tips on how to spot whether you are the toxic partner in your relationship before Phillip Cornwall told us there was little joy in the corporate world…other than the zoom meeting trust falls. After Phil was Callum Mackenzie who gave us the slogan from his local crematorium: Granma’s last chance to have a smokin’ hot bod.” Closing the show was comedy’s King of the wrong un’s, Wrong Comedy’s very own Bob Walsh. From his time as a movie zombie to his status as the UK’s #1 tortoise impersonator and the mellifluous “Shit Section” that had everyone singing along, Bob was on absolute cracking form and had the crowd cheering for more.
Well that was last night and a belter it was. Next Wednesday is our final Arch One show of 2022 with headliner Nicholas Everritt.